Set Me Up

A funny thing happened last week. I received a text message while I was on vacation from an old co-worker, HT. He asked if I'd be interested in meeting one of his new coworkers. My first reaction was, no. I mean this is HT...the last time he set two people up they became office fodder. Needless to say, it didn't go as planned and the news spread like wildfire in that office. But then I sat there for a second and thought, "What the hell? It'll give me something good to write about." So I said sure and planned to call HT when I got back to town.

Now, I'm not opposed to a set-up, but I do have a few requirements. I tossed the long "must-have" list a while ago because it was pointless, but there are still a few things I can't let go. Here they are for those of you who ever feel the need to set me up:

1) Must have a legitimate job.*
2) Must be a nice guy.
3) Must have a sense of humor.
4) Must be taller than me when I wear heels.

OK, that's it. Not too bad, right? Well, apparently HT never received the memo. If he had described the guy as a Filipino Colin Farrell then maybe I would have reconsidered. (LOL...sorry, little inside joke. Couldn't resist, NG. I swear, that still makes me laugh.)

Anyway, fast forward to last night. I gave HT a ring to find out what this whole set-up was about, but the minute he started describing the guy, I knew he wasn't for me.

Here's part of the conversation:

HT: Well, I'm not sure he's your type, but he might be your type, but I'm not sure. He might be shorter than you. How tall are you? He does the photography for our company. He's Filipino, has long hair, some facial hair...did I lose you already?
ME: Honestly, you lost me at the beginning. I'm short but I'm somewhat of a height snob. He has to be taller than me when I'm wearing heels.
HT: I can't guarantee that.
ME: Well, thanks for trying, but this isn't going to work out. I'm curious...does he have an accent?
HT: A slight accent.
ME: Is it a Brooklyn/Bronx/Staten Island accent or something else?
HT: Something else, but it's very slight. Sort of.
ME: Thanks again...so how are you?

Of course it didn't go EXACTLY like that, but you get the gist. Now, if you know me, you'd know that this would never work in a million years. He may be a perfectly nice guy with a job, but the fact that HT couldn't guarantee he'd be taller than me was a dealbreaker. I once went out with a guy who was the same height as me, which is short since I'm 5'2", and I just couldn't get over the height thing. I hated that I had to wear flats and the whole time I felt like a hobbit couple. Call me shallow, but size really does matter.

The list of things I don't want in a guy is much longer than that itty bitty "requirements" list above, but we all have preferences...we can't help who we're attracted to, right?

*Due to the current economic situation, I could let this slide based on his plans. Actively looking for a job? Sure. Sitting at home on his parents' couch watching Oprah every afternoon? Uhhhh...no, thank you.